The Most Practical Gift
by Farfromfearless
Summary: Kratos needs help picking out a gift for Anna. And who better to turn to than...YUAN! Rated T for suggestive themes. Reviews would be nice. ONESHOT.


**I was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very bored last night. This idea came when my grandmother played this trick on my sister's boyfriend. Gotta love Gramma.**

**DISCLAIMER: ALL I OWN IS MY SISTER'S BOYFRIEND.**

* * *

He could've asked anyone. A local townswoman, or the young man who hung around the pier. Hell, he could've asked Anna herself, it just wouldn't be as special.

But, no, he'd chosen to ask for Yuan's advice.

Kratos sighed. He was already regretting this decision. Anna's birthday was tomorrow, and he wanted to get her something special. However, he was no good with that kind of stuff. So, he'd gone to Yuan to ask what he should get her. Yuan had dismissed his idea of candy and flowers as being 'cliché'.

"If you want to make a woman happy," Yuan told him, "you have to get her something practical. Something she'll use."

After a half an hour of Kratos pitching ideas, only to have them shot down by his friend, he sighed and pulled out a piece of paper.

"What?" Kratos asked.

"Shh. I'm trying to size Anna up."

"Size her up? You want me to get her clothes?"

"Yes, something like that. What's her favorite color?"

"Light blue, if I'm not mistaken."

Yuan scribbled something down on the paper and handed it to Kratos. "Here. Go to the clothing store and give this to the person there."

As he began to walk to the store that sold clothes, he read the paper.

_38C & 28 In. Set_

_Sky Blue Lace_

_Please gift wrap._

Kratos had absolutely no idea what this meant. When it came to clothes, all he knew was that if it fit him, he should buy it. However, he had no idea what to get her, and time was running out.

He entered the armor shop, which in Luin also sold normal clothes. He walked up to the man behind the counter.

"I would like to get a gift for my…friend. Here, it's this size."

The man read the paper and gave Kratos a slightly suspicious look before going into the back room. In a few moments, he came out and handed Kratos a bag with the clothes in it.

"Thank you, sir." He left and began to walk home. He had made her a cake and gotten her a gift. For his first relationship in over a millenium, he was doing well. As he opened the door to the hotel the couple were staying in, it suddenly occurred to him that he should check what he'd gotten Anna. It would be just like Yuan to send him to get a dress the size of a tent or an atrocious-looking shirt for her. But, just as he was about to peek inside the bag…

"Kratos!"

Yuan and Anna were running toward him. She greeted him with a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, you got me a present! Thanks!" She held up an envelope. "Look, Yuan got me a card. But he won't let me read it until I open my present from you." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Well, Yuan, are you going to join us for Anna's birthday?" Kratos asked, hoping that the present wasn't anything ridiculous.

"No, I should be getting back to Yggdrasill. Happy birthday, though, Anna." On that note, he turned his back and left.

Anna and Kratos went inside and upstairs to their hotel room. Kratos uncovered the cake and lit the candles for her. He even sang for her, on the condition that she never speak of it again. They ate cake and finally, Anna leaned over and grabbed the bag from across the table.

"Ooh, what is it?!" She was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. She unwrapped it, however, in a painfully slow manner. Every piece of tissue paper was unfolded carefully, so as not to rip it. When she finally reached the bottom, her face became unreadable. It was somewhere between confusion, amusement, and indignation. Kratos prayed to whatever higher being existed that he had not been tricked into making a complete fool of himself. Finally, Anna's wild laughter made him sigh with relief. If she was laughing, it couldn't be that bad. He looked over at the gift, which she was now holding in each of her hands, still laughing. Yes, he definitely regretted asking for Yuan's help.

A bra and panty set. Of course.

The light blue, lacey items were now being held up to her. "I love them! And I think they'll fit perfectly." She tried to give him a reproachful look, but failed spectacularly because it was clear that she liked the gifts. "Oh, and I wonder what you're getting at, Mr. Lingerie?"

Anna giggled at the fact that Kratos had now begun to blush. She took his hand and pulled him toward the bedroom.

"What are you doing, Anna?"

"I'm going to go try them on, dummy! Come on, I want you to see!"

"You want me to…see?!"

She laughed again. "Yeah! That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

Kratos debated that. As awkward and embarrassing as it was to talk about it, the idea did appeal to him. He was about to follow her when the envelope sitting on the table caught his attention.

"Yuan's card. Here, you should read it."

He opened it and pulled out the card. As he handed it to Anna, he noticed that another piece of paper had fluttered to the ground. He picked it up, unfolded it, and read it. As he did so, he couldn't help but chuckle. She looked at him quizzically. He shook his head and dropped the paper, grabbing her hand. As she pulled him into the bedroom, he pulled her into a kiss and shut the door behind them. The message from Yuan floated to the floor.

_Told you so. Practical._


End file.
